A friend of mine was telling to me about one of his long term clients. Over the years my friend had provided what he considered good and appropriate advice to this client however the client never takes any of it up. “He never listens to anything I tell him”
He was clearly frustrated so I asked “what have you done differently?” He looked perplexed. Nothing.
Do you have a team member, a peer, or boss who you feel doesn’t listen to you?
Why not try this approach.
Try asking them questions instead.
Questions which can generate thinking and some introspection include
- What have you done to try to solve….?
- What do you believe is causing……?
- How long have you had this problem?
- What do you think would be another approach?
- If nothing changes with …….in the next 3/6 months, what is the likely consequence?
Have you noticed I haven’t used “why” questions? The reason is that they can be perceived as judgemental and create defensive responses. Stick with questions beginning with “what” or “how”.
By using this approach you open the person up to considering other options. Good questions can result in the person coming up with some insight as to the impact of the problem. Their own thinking creates a sense of urgency to find a solution (or have you provide one).
By applying this you will find that people will start to listen to you. They will become genuinely interested in what you have to say.
The art of questioning is a great skill to have in the workplace. And like every skill you need to practice to perfect it. So dare to be different.
